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Since of you - poetry

 

You are to me my lifeline my security. That scares me. I never sought after to trust again that much I got hurt too badly the last time. I swore I'd never do it again, never let the trust out of my hands into a celebrity elses.

And yet I've done it and now I'm afraid of what you will do with it, of what I'll do as of it.

My first instinct is, as always, to run, to hide, to care for myself from the hurt I know will come. I don't know when or how, just that it will, sometime.

I sought after to keep myself to build the walls about me but you wouldn't let me. You smashed bricks as I put them in place you refused to let me shut for my part in, so now what? Where do I go now? I feel lost,defenceless, my hitting place is no more.

My walls are broken and I'm now fearful to rebuild the walls afraid I won't see you if I do or anybody else and I'm not sure if that's especially what I want to do.

AT times it is. I want to shut for myself away and hide, and yet I want to be out, to mix to talk to share. And I blame you for not leasing me ahead of shaking me up for refusing to let me retreat.

And yet I know that if I were not ready you could not have reached me no one could. I would have confined for myself better I wouldn't have risked or grown.

I want to curse you and thank you at the same time. I want to laugh with delight at the clothes I've seen and found with you and cry in despair for what will not be.

You have opened me to be what, I'm not yet sure but I know that I am stronger because of you braver, since of you more, for the reason that of you.

Fran Watson "Expert Author" http://www. franwatson. ca http://www. mormunny4u. org http://www. diet-basics. org


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